Tigger and Eeyore why can;t you Love me.

I hope this gets to you,       Please read this.‏          February 27, 2010 1:59:33 AM

From:     Winnie-the-Pooh
Sent To: Eeyore; Tigger; Rabbit; Piglet and Owl
              Christopher Robin Mama Heffalump
              Dear Tigger;

I would like to start with I am sorry for any hard doing you and your sister (Eeyore) have felt or I have done to you.
I was not always the best Mother. I, in my mental recovery have apologized for this over and over. I am on a psychiatrist ordered cocktail of medications to keep my Bi-Polar / Manic Depression at bay. (Dr.Ihab OH) Which I have an hourly appointment monthly.
I have left my cell phone one and the number has been the same since both Eeyore and you were on my phone plan. I have phone or texted or emailed you, every other week with maybe a return contact 3 times in 8 months. I told you when I was awaiting the phone call which came literally 1/2 hour after you talked to me that I was being admitted to St. Mikes for my surgery. That was on Dec 3rd; check your cell phone bill.
You say I did not call you on Christmas; I did Christmas Morning from the Hospital. It went to your Machine. I left a message for Eeyore and Kanga at his Parents. What more could I do.
I don't know what more you want from you. I bend over backwards. I Love both of you so much it hurts, every day. But it is like I have no children it hurts. They hate me. How do you think it fells when the services ask you who are your family and I have no answer. Even Piglet was pissed off at his Mother for taking care of me when I was paralyzed from the ribs down, when I had no one else. Ya you had your own lives. I just don't understand how much the generations could change from mine to my children. How did I and my generation go so wrong bringing up the me generation? I made sure you and your Sister had absolutely everything you possibly wanted that I and your dad (Owl), could get the both of you. I watched the ad on the TV where the kid asks for a job at a restaurant, and the owner says should you not be out be playing hockey, the kid says that's what I need the job for. Canadian Tire Ad.
I just want to know how to get on with my life and to know what I can expect from my children. Is there hope for counselling, or is that too far, or is it just through the bitch to the side and pretend she is dead, and I can have a mock funeral for my mind, and burn your baby cloths and get some closer.
A wise person did say to me I should not expect anything from anybody else but myself, Then it`s only yourself you can get upset with.
I will always Love the both of you I just can`t live like this.